Interlude

Enough of all this fury - let's have some poems:

Tory Tandoori

Where once Norman Lamont would chew slowly on a samosa,

Where David Mellor, in his 90s heyday, would eye up the King prawn bhoonas

And John Major (sans Norma) would politely order a plain naan and korma.

Now, David Cameron, poised with a poppadom, dipped in mango chutney,

In the Tory Tandoori,

In Putney

But on week nights its full, of braying broad-shouldered youths

Fresh from the boats

Steal the oxygen from the air with their brash and beery boasts

Of watery outings on the Thames

Of catching crabs

And capsizing

On drunken night-time rows

Blades splashing across the brown depths.

Hair Dye

People in the public eye

No strangers to hair dye

David Cameron quick to deny

Suspiciously even chocolate locks.

Rebecca Brooks' white roots,

Still clinging to her job,

Resigned a red-topped Amazon goddess.

Today's a good day to bury grey hairs.